As many of you know I am passionate about adoption! It’s my story and the story of many MANY others! I’ve always wanted to interview the biological and adoptive parents of a child to see what adoption is really like on both sides. I’m so happy to have had the opportunity to do just that! This particular adoption is near and dear to my heart as the baby in this situation is my nephew, Ezra. He, by God’s plan, is my sister’s son…..and boy is he CUTE!
I asked Ezra’s mom, my sister 5 questions about the adoption process. I also asked Ezra’s birth mother the same 5 questions. This might be one of the most interesting situations on earth. To put an even greater twist to this story, consider that both of the mothers in this story were adopted themselves!
QUESTION 1 – WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ADOPTION?
From the moment I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test, adoption was in the back of my mind. I told the father I was pregnant and he freaked out. That’s when I realized with two kids already, I didn’t think I could make it on my own with 3. During my pregnancy I worked with a social worker who showed me bio’s of parents. The parents I chose didn’t even have a picture on theirs but they stood out to me. I decided to meet them. After meeting them I knew they were exactly the kind of people I want my baby to be raised by. I made the official decision right after my son was born and when I saw his adoptive dad hold and look at him with such loving eyes, I knew that’s where my baby belonged. They had so much more to offer him.
We talked about adoption even before we were married. It was always in our hearts. But after two years of trying to conceive, there were many complications. We had to ask ourselves, “are we going to be okay if we are never able to have our own biological children?” We didn’t have to think about it long, we chose adoption because we believe it’s the center of the heart of our Father in heaven. We are called to take care of the orphans and widows and that’s what we wanted to do.
QUESTION 2 – WHAT WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT PART OF THE ADOPTION?
The most difficult part was leaving the hospital without my son. I remember the doctor coming in with all the paperwork completed. I scooped my baby up to say goodbye. I don’t even know who I handed him to because I was crying so hard, all I could see was a blur. I remember sitting in my car looking out the window and not talking to anyone for a long time. I just held my other sons hand.
The most difficult part was all of the preparation it took to adopt a baby and then being reminded of the reality that in the very end, having gone through the whole process…..not getting a baby. The whole thing could fall through in a moment. You put your time, money and emotions out on the line and not get a baby. That was the toughest part of the process. We had to trust that God had it all planned out.
QUESTION 3 – WHAT IS IT LIKE HAVING AN OPEN ADOPTION?
I too was adopted. I always thought that my own biological mother must not have wanted me because I wasn’t good enough or she didn’t love me. But then I met her. I learned otherwise. I now want my son to know in an open adoption that no matter what I love him more than life itself. He may not be with me physically but he is in my heart every minute of every day. I hope he understands that and doesn’t resent me.
After meeting my baby’s biological mother, she had one request. As a mother, I now feel like my life’s goal is to help accomplish this one request. She wanted to make sure our son knew that his biological mother loves him. We made an adoption plan and have stuck to it. We’ve exchanged letters, pictures and had many visits. It’s been wonderful. We have gained more family through it all! I pray every day that he knows he is loved by so many people. We will continue to build relationship with his biological mother and family.
QUESTION 4 –
Birth Mom: WHY DID YOU CHOSE OPEN VERSES CLOSED ADOPTION?
I always wished I knew my birth mom when I was adopted. I never knew where I came from or why it happened. It caused a lot of problems when I was younger. I also wanted to be able to watch my son grow up. If closed adoption was the only option, I don’t think I would have been able to do it. At the hospital after he was born, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I just kissed him and said I’ll see you later. I would have never been able to say goodbye for good.
Adoptive Mom: WHAT WILL YOU TELL YOUR SON ABOUT HIS ADOPTION?
We want to talk about adoption very openly from the beginning. We want him to know that his biological mother made a very bold and selfless decision by placing him for adoption. It reminds me of the sacrifice God made when he gave his son for the sins of the world and how hard that decision must have been. We are so grateful for the selfless decision our son’s birth mother made.
QUESTION 5 – WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?
I don’t know if I could do it again or not. It would depend on the situation. I’m engaged now so I don’t think it will ever be necessary again. I don’t know what to say as far as wether I would or not again, it would just depend on the situation.
YES! We believe that we have a lot of love to share and there are many children that need a mom and dad. We know that there will be tough times but we trust God to show us how to be the best parents we know to be. People have been inspired to adopt because of Ezra’s story. It’s fun to walk with other couples through the process as well.
What a powerful interview! I want to thank both of the courageous mothers who were willing to be vulnerable and honest in their answers to these questions. I think both of your sides of Ezra’s story will inspire and encourage many people! Thank you again!